More Than I Deserve
A Conversation Between Mothers
Recently I was chatting with a friend when our conversation drifted to our children. How old they were now, what they were up to, if they’re dating anyone. We ended up spending quite a bit of time on the “being equally yoked’ in dating issue. She shared with me a little of the heartache she was experiencing because of some of her child’s poor choices. I saw the pain in her face and her voice was emotion filled as she wondered out loud where she, as a mother, had gone wrong. Although her child was raised in a Christian home, with Godly counsel and instruction, they were choosing to live differently. As I sat there heavy hearted it struck me how opposite our stories were and how different the outcome. And I realized that once again, God had given me something I didn’t deserve.
You see, my husband and I were not raised Christian and came to Christ in our early thirties after making some very poor decisions. Before that we had no clue what it meant to be a Christian, let alone being equally yoked. But God, in his grace and mercy, changed our hearts and showed us the error in living ungodly lives. We then dedicated our lives to Christ and vowed to train up our pre-teen daughters (now 23 and 20) in His ways, and not the world’s.
When the time came for dating, we reminded our girls of our sinful past and then simply told them that since they had professed to be Christians they could not date unbelievers while they lived in our home. We didn’t feel it was Biblical and we were convicted that God had not called us to be their best friends; he called us to be their parents. We explained to them that only dating Christian boys would enable them to freely talk about their first love and treasure, Jesus Christ; they would be able to pray with and for each other, and they would be openly living out their faith. All of which would be most glorifying to God and best for them. And to their benefit and our joy, they agreed. Was it always easy? No. Were there tears a time or two? Yes. Our daughters went through public school and have a lot of really great non-Christian guy friends. So when the argument came up “but you and dad turned out ok” I reminded them that it was all by grace, God didn’t have to be so merciful to us and they shouldn’t presume that He would grant them the same blessing.
To this effect my friend and I ended our conversation. We praised God for the favor he had shown us both; neither one of us deserved the cross. We thanked him for our children and the trials they were going thru; it made us more dependent on Him. We acknowledged that our children are His first, He loves them more then we do, and we needed to be praying for them more. And then we comforted each other in the truth we both hold dear: our allegiance is to God first and foremost and our part is to plant the seeds and water the fields of their lives, and then to trust God to work in their hearts. Again, more than we deserve!